A Man’s Guide to Greatness: Finding Meaning Beyond Professional Success

SelfSync Therapy Aligns Professional Achievements and Personal Authenticity, because there comes a time in every man’s life when neither alone is enough to feel fulfilled. For the purposes of this blog we are referring to greatness as achieving peak performance to unleash your full financial potential. But it also includes having a life full of love and once life is over, leaving a lasting legacy he can take pride in. 

If this describes greatness for you, keep reading. What I’m about to talk about will interest you. 

Have you ever felt like you had opposing goals? You want two totally different things, but you want both equally. Opposing goals like freedom and responsibility, isolation and connection, individuality and being part of the crowd. You try to explain this challenge to people around you, but they don’t get it. So this causes you to feel misunderstood, like nobody around you really knows you? You long for this connection, while the weight of your personal problems lies heavy on your shoulders so you protect yourself and then feel isolated. 

If this hasn’t happened to you yet, would you agree many men have this experience? 

Men look at other men in their mastermind group or at the gym, and it appears to them that these other men seem to have life all figured out. Like they took some training on juggling family life and work life. It leaves them searching for that book, course, or training, but even though they’ve tried a lot of different things they still don’t have life figured out. 

Many of the men I work with are so exhausted before working with me that they are on the verge of giving up on their relationships. Their kids are angry with them. Their wife is disappointed in them. Their parents are proud, but distant. They may have attained monetary success but find it challenging to replicate that same level of fulfillment in their relationships and personal lives. 

However, there are two essential lessons that can transform thinking and lead to a more balanced and prosperous lifestyle. In my workshops, “Man’s Search for Meaning Over Money” and "The Power of SelfSync Therapy," I talk about all the steps but in this blog I’d like to highlight two of them. If after reading you find you’d like to hire me to speak, you can get the information you need by clicking here. 

My Personal Journey:

Even though I am a woman, I serve a male clientele because not only is my expertise aligned with many of men’s challenges, but also my own personal experiences mirror that which a man often experiences. Let me share a bit about my personal experience. In 2010, I found myself in a state of disarray. I had professional success for a while, but things were starting to break down, including my body. 

I believed that moving to a new city would help me start fresh, but I unknowingly carried my emotional burdens with me. So the stress that caused me to create a life of pressure and tension continued. Physically, I was exhausted, and I distanced myself from my family as I struggled to bear the weight of what everyone needed from me. 

I was always ready to tackle someone else’s problem by funding it financially. I repeatedly came to the rescue until I finally determined that I loved my own hopes and dreams more than I loved rescuing others. Although I loved helping others I had a life mission and it was getting buried underneath all the other requests.

But when the markets crashed and the great recession led me to close my business, I found myself in a crisis. I was unable to help in the way I had done before. Now I had to offer my time, my expertise, and sometimes I had nothing to offer. This shift forced the people around me to learn to fish, instead of eating the fish I was serving. (Hopefully, that analogy doesn’t get lost in translation.) I no longer had money to throw at problems, so I had to find new tools. 

It turned out those new tools were much more valuable than the currency I used before. My family preferred having experiences, they preferred learning to chart their own path, and they even learned to love me saying no and forcing them to figure things out on their own. 

When I talk to the men I work with, many of them have had similar existential crises. They may not have lost their money or business the way I did, but they may have lost a relationship with a spouse, a child, or a client and it felt like they lost everything they deemed important at the time. (Which is how it felt to me.) 

I took the principles I learned in my life experience, combined it with the expertise of my Financial Advising background and my clinical mental health training and poured it into SelfSync Therapy. In my program, I use all of my tools to guide clients on their quest for freedom. So to clarify, the first lesson is to get clear on what you really want. For me, it was freedom, although I told myself it was most important to rescue those around me. I eventually had to get back to freedom. 

What do you want? What is your mission, your WHY?

It's Time for Change Your Brain:

I realized that the blame for my relational struggles did not lie solely with me. I had been conditioned to believe that financial success was the solution to all of life's problems, but this programming was flawed. Society lied to me. It’s lying to you too. That’s why taking responsibility for my own growth and overcoming these societal limitations became my mission. However, another part of my mission became sharing it with others.

Everyone needs to break free from society's lies. But I chose to share my journey with men first, because that’s what I was called to do. 

I discovered a new version of success, one that I designed based on my values and by prioritizing meaning over money. I call this lifestyle "The Presidential Lifestyle." This lifestyle put the responsibility back into the hands of each individual. Everyone is responsible for their own challenges and healing journey. 

My challenges were mine and I was responsible for them even if they weren’t my fault. I didn’t cause my own childhood trauma and neither did the people around me cause their childhood trauma. So instead of trying to rescue others from their pain, I decided to share SelfSync Therapy with the world, and that included the people around me. When utilized properly, it allows us all to tap into our own power and take responsibility, even if our pain isn’t our fault. 

While my trauma made me a hero, someone else’s trauma could have made them a victim or a blamer, meaning they’re looking for someone else to take responsibility for them. I was ready and willing to do it, and I was able to do it for a long while. But once freedom became my priority, I wanted to break free from my own pain and in doing that it meant I couldn’t take on the pain of others. The only pain I was willing to take on was the pain of seeing my mission through.

So now that you’ve given some thought to the first lesson, that is knowing your priority. 

The second thing you have to think about is what’s the opposing goal that keeps you from getting there. For me, it was being a hero. Rescuing all the people around me wore me out. I was determined to protect them from harm, even the harm they were causing themselves, over and over again, no matter how many times I’d save them. And for that reason, I couldn’t achieve my own peak performance. 

What opposing goals are blocking you from peak performance? Where are you going against the mission that lies inside of you? The mission that’s fighting to get out and thrive. The mission that is the key to your greatness. The guiding force that will lead you to achieve peak performance and unleash your full financial potential.

It’s time to change your brain and uncover your opposing goals today.

Join Me on the Journey:

I invite you to hire me to speak at your next event or on your podcast so I can reveal more about SelfSync Therapy, what it is, what it isn’t, and how I used that power to spark my mission and now the mission of over 5,000 others who have experienced it. 

The steps I took to transform my personal and professional life aren’t rocket science, but like mine, your mission is locked underneath subconscious programming that requires professional guidance to tap into it. A professional with access. I have the key, the code, the access you seek. I’ll give it to you and together, we'll rewrite your story so you can create the relationships and reputation you deserve.

P.S. If you know a man going through an existential crisis and you want to introduce him to me and SelfSync Therapy by Presidential Lifestyle, feel free to share this blog with him or simple say:

"You need to meet Kiné. She is the world's leading National Certified Counselor specializing in Performance and Financial Therapy. She speaks to and consults with athletes and investors about the problems money (alone) can't fix.

She's also the CEO of Presidential Lifestyle, a mental health company focused on alleviating human suffering associated with money by changing the way mental health is viewed and administered. The best time to connect with Presidential Lifestyle is when your problems have gotten too heavy for you to lift on your own. Kiné and her team will guide you through designing a solution tailored to you.”

I know that’s a mouth full, so just copy and paste it into an email and send it to him. ;-) Remember, you don't need to memorize it, but it's helpful to know how to explain our mission to friends, clients, and colleagues who might benefit from our services. Thank you in advance for considering me for your event or podcast and also for sharing our mission with your community.

I’ll see you at the top, because it doesn’t have to be lonely there. That’s why I’m taking you with me and I encourage you to invite some friends. See you sooner…